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Watch the first trailer for Fifty Shades Freed, a movie about joint assets

The first teaser trailer for Fifty Shades Freed, the final installment in Universal’s wildly profitable adaptation of E.L. James’ pulp romance series, is here. Thank goodness! The film was shot at the same time as last year’s Fifty Shades Darker (which The Verge’s scientific analysis found was actually 94 shades darker). These two films were directed by James Foley, following Sam Taylor-Johnson’s resignation from the franchise after the first installment.

Fifty Shades Freed is set to be released on Valentine’s Day weekend 2018, and the full trailer — which will presumably be accompanied by a sexy remix of a famous sexy song, or a new sexy song by a famous person whose “thing” isn’t exactly sex appeal yet but could be their next rebrand — is coming in November.

For now, this teaser gives us only a loose idea of what comes next for Ana Steele and Christian Grey, two weirdo lovebirds who got engaged at the end of the last film. Ana will store a wedding dress on a chandelier; Ana will be delighted to know that she now co-owns a private jet; Ana will be less delighted to learn that she co-owns a gun; and Ana will be in some sort of grave physical danger. Perhaps the physical danger has something to do with the man who lit a photo of Christian on fire in the last seconds of Fifty Shades Darker, simultaneously staring across a pond at his firework-backlit wedding proposal. It was very subtle, so it’s impossible to say for sure whether this is the case.

It is also hard to believe that this will be the last Fifty Shades film, given how much money the first two made and especially considering how long everyfranchisemarketedtoboys gets to drag on. There is one unadapted E.L. James novel told from the perspective of Christian Grey instead of Ana, but so far there are no plans to adapt it. That’s likely because it contains all of the events of the first Fifty Shades book, rewritten from the point of view of an extremely self-serious man. Damn.

Enjoy this Valentine’s Day, the last good one.

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